Category: News

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(Deep breath) OK. For those of you out there who haven’t tried raising 4 kids after the death of a partner and running a business and dealing with all the legal mumbo jumbo that both the death and business entail? I don’t recommend it. At all. It’s like waking up at the bottom of a deep, muddy, slick hole and clawing your way to the first available handhold, frantically digging out a makeshift shelf and then collapsing, exhausted–all while praying rain doesn’t come and destabilize the whole mess and send you back to the bottom of the hole. The rains come way too frequently, to boot. I feel like i am in a mud sucking mess more times than not. I keep clawing, though. I am determined to see the edge of this hole and the beginning of the next chapter of mine and the kids’ lives begin sooner than later. This isn’t permanent, it’s simply a line of demarcation between what was good, and what will be even better.

I miss him, y’all.  I miss him with every breath I take. His smile, his laugh, his sense of humor.  Everything. I wear his thumbprint around my neck engraved on the back with “imprinted on my heart forever.” The countless days ahead of me echo hollowly, knowing he isn’t there to make them meaningful. No one stops and tells you that when a person dies? Their physical death is actually the least impactful.  You can reconcile a now inanimate body in your brain.  However, when you are going through personal belongings, folding up shirts and pants that still smell like the person you loved most in the world? Or throwing away items they used, but you have no use for? Those million little things create new deaths, new sensations of loss. Those, my dears–those are the deaths that can, and DO–shred your heart.

I have a lot to share with you. I have received many requests to tell my side of the SWT story and it’s birth, and If you would permit me? I would like to.  For the catharsis it brings my heart, and to keep SWT and the amazing person he is (just on a non corporeal level, now) alive, even if in just a few hearts and minds.

I apologize for the lack of files. My computer system went belly up at the same time my vehicle died.  I was able to secure financing for a new toyota sienna (which got totaled by a deer two weeks later, joy) concussed me, and put hiatus on all my other plans until the issue of death legalities was settled. I am upgrading here in the next week-ish. I am working as fast as I can, please bear with me. This is tougher than I could have ever imagined.

However, I am hoping that over the next few months the more normal, playful, SWT inspiring side of me begins to shine through for y’all and your benefit.

Here is a coupon code for y’all: summersun18 and it is worth 30% off.

Mwahs!  I love you all so much, thank you for being loyal and loving and supportive during such a difficult time.  You bring sunshine peeking out on my darkest days.

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Back in Black

Hello my lovelies!!

In December, when I said that I would be running silent for the month, to try and focus on myself and the children, and to find some equilibrium for us, I didn’t anticipate the dark days ahead.  Our anniversary and Christmas passed mostly without event, much to my surprise.  It was SWTs birthday on January 8 that didn’t just throw me off the horse.  It then proceeded to stomp and kick me into the ground and then laid down and rolled, as well.  SWT and my oldest son knew of a youtube channel he had posted and showed me. On this channel there was a video of SWT singing a rendition of “Piano Man” that he had rewritten for a friend who was celebrating her last day at a previous job of his.  Seeing him, hearing him–after three months of silence was just more than my brain could bear, and then at that moment our youngest son (2) heard his voice and came flying down the hall yelling “Daddy!  Daddy!” and tried to reach for him through the computer screen.  All I can say is that at that moment, anything that may have still been clinging to some illusion of being whole in me, shattered.  I fell into a depression I am still finding my way out of, but I think that finally, after almost two more months of sabbatical than I planned?  I am finally getting there.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who continued to check on me.  For your emails, your stories of your families, your successes with our products, even just funny little anecdotes or condolences.  You will never know how much all of that meant to me, how it helped me pull through one day at a time.  Looking back, I realize that I should have leaned into this community and how you embraced me after SWTs loss, rather than turning away and hiding.  The site, writing to you all–it kept me going, and gave me something to focus on, to work towards.  Without it, I became lost in my own head, in a terrible dark space–SWT became a place that was just one more symbol of my loss; working on files became just one more concrete example of how he was really gone.  Thank you for supporting me and allowing me space to grieve and find my footing, and for continuing to keep the site profitable while I mourned.  I know I’ve said it a million times, but you are all beyond amazing.  I am blessed.

To bring you all the updates that people have been asking for?  I AM continuing to run SWT.  I am establishing a game plan for the site as we speak to keep it moving smoothly, moving foward, and to make sure I have something to keep myself accountable.  SWTs goal was to take the  site mainstream and make it a mover and a shaker, so that it would be a source of income for me should anything happen to him.  We wanted to continue to roll out better and better files, and to keep the site evolving and cutting-edge to meet the needs of you all as our family in this community.  Expect the look of SWT to change some in the coming months as I make sure that everything here is legalese perfect, so that I can begin some mainstream advertising to drive the site.

I have mostly mastered the sound software at this point, so start expecting to see new files popping up soon.  Also, through the months since SWT has passed?  I have gotten many, many requests for some amazing files from some of you, and while I will continue to keep SWT stocked with files that encourage your wives to find their inner sex Goddess?  I will also begin to introduce some files that meet the changing demands of the community and promote intimacy and communication within marriage, encourage your wives to embrace their bodies changes with age, and a couple specialty areas.  I’ve lightly mentioned that I come from a medical background and I am going to turn the passion for psychology and the workings of the deeper mind into inspiration for a different line of files–but more on that later when I have a bit better timeline in place.  I can’t tell you how excited I am to grow with you all!

Above all, please continue to bear with me.  I haven’t told many of you the larger portion of my story:  In 2016, SWT and I moved from the Pacific Northwest (Oregon–where I spent almost all of my 37 years) to the midwest for a new job opportunity for him.  When he died in October I found myself alone with four children, my friends and family over two thousand miles away.  The loneliness and stress from trying to do everything by myself has been beyond daunting.  I will be moving back home when my two oldest are done with school for the year, and I will finally have access to childcare for my two younger kids so that I can devote a chunk of time to SWT and my other endeavors, not just during odd hours when they happen to be sleeping or preoccupied for a 5-minute stretch.  That is when things will start moving along at a much more reliable pace.  Until then, I am here!  my gmail had a syncing glitch about two weeks ago and I lost a lot of email.  Some of it has “reappeared” in my box, but if I haven’t responded to you and it’s been a while, please resend.  I’ll answer as soon as I can.

 

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Black Friday Announcement

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for the extended absence, my mom is in town for the holiday week and I’m trying to use the time to get as much wrapped up, neatly as I can, before I am back to doing this all solo.  I wish SWT, in his infinite wisdom, had at least had the foresight to magic up a maid for me before checking out!  The nerve, I tell you!!

I’ve been watching sales from my phone, and it seems like the thankyou coupon is getting good use.  I’m so glad! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you all:  Your continued support of our site, and the many emails and private comments I have gotten expressing both condolences and the offers of help as I learn to navigate this all on my own–it’s beyond what words can adequately express, and I wake up, every day, humbled and grateful for all of you.  Due to the amount of paperwork, calls, running around, etc–that dealing with the early aftermath of death entails, I’m still going to be AFK for extended periods.  I apologize.  I will respond to your emails as quickly as time allows.  I want to make sure that I can provide thoughtful answers to your questions, not just hastily scribbled emails in the five minutes between appointments.

Now, on to Black Friday.  So guys, while the rest of the world is going crazy fighting over discounted flat screen TVs and Isotoner slippers and whatever else all the big box stores decide to have on offer for the busiest shopping day of the year? I want to do something a little more fun than just standing in line, hoping you get the item you’re wanting.  If you end up standing in one (or many!!) of those lines fear not, you can still log in to the site and play the little “Truth or dare” game I have in mind, to win great discount coupons good for any file on the site.  The answers to the questions can be submitted both by private email or comment,  depending on which you prefer.

 

Are you ready to play?  Here goes…

 

SWT had a fetish that I had NEVER heard of, before we got together.  I didn’t exactly run in innocent circles prior to our meeting, either.  It has been briefly touched on at various times in this site.  What absolutely revved SWT’s engine, guys?  Look “Deep in to your mind” and the answer might make itself clear.

 

Sex is a passion of mine, outside the bedroom as much as in its confines.  I can read data until I am blue in the face,  but it still doesn’t give me a big picture in the same way talking to you all does.  What is your favorite sex position/act?  Why?  What one thing does your wife just not do that you wish she would, or does she not do enough to satisfy you?

 

When you see your wife getting attention from another guy, does it make you hot, crazy jealous, or something in between?

 

What one thing could your wife do to make you feel more empowered in your sexual relationship with her?

 

Are you and your wife currently “e-intimate?”  Do you send each other dirty little messages over the course of the day,  to let each other know how much the other turns you on?  This was something SWT and I did regularly; it led to many a locked door and late dinner time when he got home in the evenings and we’d made each other so crazy that “hands off” until bedtime simply was not going to happen.  If you do this, tell me about it–are you satisfied?  Do you wish your wife would be a little more racy in her texts of affection towards you?  If you don’t, would this be something you’d like to see a file for?

 

The rules of engagement are this:  I’ll be accepting answers to all questions from 12a-midnight (PST) Friday, November 24.  Each question will have several responses selected to receive coupons for any file on the site, the discount value will be between 50-80% off of the product of your choice. In addition, anyone who purchases a file on black Friday will  be entered into a drawing to receive a coupon code for a FREE file.  The codes can be saved for future releases of new products.  The winner of the free file also has the option to redeem that coupon code for 50% off of a custom file once that option becomes available again.

 

One last parting thought:  I’ll be making some big announcements over the next week or so, including how you can get newly released files for free, so stay tuned!

 

Have a wonderful holiday and as always, Happy Training! I hope to see you all on Friday! 🙂